by Regina Griego
No one would wish for a tragedy like ours. My fifteen-year-old nephew shot and killed his father (my brother), mother, and three of his siblings. I took guardianship of my nephew and supported him through his legal, therapeutic, and educational journey—currently I’m his only connection to the world outside of prison. This heartbreaking tragedy was ironed flat by the media coverage. This was not a good guy-bad guy story. I knew that because I knew the generational and cultural stories behind this tragedy. I wrote a book about it. People say to me “it must have been cathartic.” Yes, I told the story as a descanso (Spanish for putting something to rest), pinning it to the page so it doesn’t rattle around in my brain and heart.
More than that, I needed to make something good out of the tragedy. I have been lobbying and testifying since 2019 for juvenile justice and gun-sense laws at the New Mexico Legislature. In 2023 the legislature finally passed the Second Chances Bill (SB 64) which abolishes life without parole for people who have committed crimes as children. It also gives these people the opportunity to go before the parole board after serving fifteen years, which gives my nephew the opportunity to go before the parole board twenty-two years earlier than his original sentence dictated. It gives him hope.
As the New Mexico Survivor Membership Lead for Moms Demand Action I testify and lobby for gun-sense bills, and train Gun Violence Survivors to craft testimony which they present during the legislative session. The Bennie Hargrove Law on Child Access to Firearms (HB 9) passed in 2023. It holds gun owners (usually parents) responsible if a child gains access to an unsecured firearm. It’s a misdemeanor for the owner if the child brandishes the weapon and a fourth-degree felony if their actions result in bodily harm. It is intended to encourage responsible gun ownership. In 2024 I lobbied and testified for several gun-sense bills. The Firearm Sale Waiting Period Crimes Bill (HB129) and Firearms Near Polling Places Bill (SB5) were passed.
My brother had eight firearms (among them, two AR-15s) and 15,000 rounds of ammunition all unsecured, all purchased through private sale without a background check, and all accessible to the four children in his household. He was confident that putting them in an unlocked closet and telling his wife and children to use them only if there was an outside threat was enough.
After writing the book, I do feel lighter, and I’ve grown less ashamed and insecure about telling my difficult story. As part of my spiritual path I’ve learned that when tragedy strikes the question to ask is “What is mine to do?” rather than “Why?” The answer for me was to advocate for my nephew and to make a difference in changing the systems that hurt all children in our country.
Dr. Regina Griego is an award-winning author, coach, and speaker from Albuquerque, NM where she was born and raised. She wrote Sins of the System. Visit her website, Transcending-Futures.com.